An update.

Hello blog readers. I just realized its been a while since I've blogged, logged into blogger, or even written at all. So, in honor of blogging, I would like to take a few minutes to fill you all in, although blogging about my life in general seems terribly boring, not to mention very girly. Its like writing in a diary. But hey, I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere, no cell service, in a cabin, with 3 sleeping people. I guess I'm justified in writing a pointless blog.

Anyway! So, my life has been heading uphill ever since school got out. I basically ditched the last week of school and did a bunch of fun stuff with my old friends. so good. I realized that over the course of the last school year I've lost a lot of motivation. Heck, I can't even remember what I enjoy doing... I noticed this a few weeks ago when Brady asked me what I liked to do for fun, and I couldn't answer the question. The only thing I really do anymore is hang out with people. I love talking to my friends and doing crazy stuff with them... but how about when I'm alone? In fact, my time spent alone is so incredibly unremarkable that I can't even remember such times... I'm pretty sure I sit on my floor, listen to music, and think. I remember.... there was a time when I craved being alone. I loved to just relax and enjoy my own company, now I have absolutely no motivation to pick up anything I once loved.
I no longer want to pick up a pen and write all my thoughts... I no longer want to read a good book... I no longer want to sit and watch a movie.. I no longer want to take a walk or bike ride by myself.
Something sucked all the fun out of me, and I only have a few ideas on what it could be.
So now I'm busying myself with rediscovering what I love to do, hopefully I'll find something worth spending my time on. If you have any crazy ideas for me, just hit me up. :)

On another note, I'm on vacation! I don't particularly like vacations very much.. I get too homesick, and my family makes them more stressful than just being at home. Ah well... this one has been pretty adequate. The first few days I spent relaxing by a pool and shopping, which I prefer, but now I'm chilling in the desert/mountains in southern Utah. Its beautiful out here.
I went hiking yesterday on 3 hours of sleep in 106 degree heat. It was, well... exciting? An adventure I must admit. I could barely finish a 2 mile hike. Too bad I don't have superpowers. I also figured out that despite my lack of sunscreen and hours spent in the sun... I neither tan nor burn. It can either be a plus or minus. I guess I'm destined to be as white as a tube of good old Elmer's glue. :)
Ah! Yesterday was great! Possibly one of the few randomest things I've ever done. I walked down to this little campfire near my cabin that some people light every night, and I brought my guitar with me. I didn't expect to use it, I was just going to sit with it inconspicuously and listen to the two old guys play guitar and the fiddle. As soon as I approached the fire they asked me to take out my guitar and play along with them. Remembering the movie, Yes Man (freaking inspiring if you ask me) I agreed to play. I watched the guitarist's hands and mimicked his chords, occasionally changing the shape to give the song a little diversity. It was so fun. Eventually the crowd around the fire grew to about 20 people. In the middle of some random old gospel cowboy song, the violinist motioned to me to play a solo... I was a little nervous, but did it anyway. I have to say, I did great for my first time playing an improvised solo on the spot. When I finished, the whole crowd clapped way loud. I've never really played guitar for self recognition... it was a little shocking.

so.. I'm missing someone a lot. If he happens to give my blog a check, I really hope he decides to text me. I feel like a jerk, and its getting me down. My mind keeps wandering to that unfinished love letter I was supposed to deliver to him. Hm. :/

To finish this blog up... I have a little thought. I was just remembering someone I once knew pretty well. She was the kind of person who had a new boyfriend every 2 weeks to a month, and yet claimed to love them all. Its funny how every time someone becomes close to us, we love them. There's so many different types of love, different situations, that determine our feelings. Every time we learn to love someone different, our understanding is built upon or torn down. Its fun stuff.
Have a great day everyone, enjoy it well.