Don't Let a Good Nights Fun Come To An Early End.

Hey everyone who reads my blog!
I'm in the mood to listen to the Virgins. They're pretty much the coolest thing since post it notes. Good dancing music, and you all know how I dance. :P

Yep, so I'm thinking I need a more optimistic view of life. For the longest time I've been dreading the bad, but not looking forward to all the wonderful experiences. Most of the time, even bad things have good results in the end. All of the bad times in my life, the times I thought I would never make it through, have made me into a better person today. Knowing that it all was for the better feels so good. It reminds me of my guitar lesson. Johnny (my guitar teacher) will constantly ask me whether my hand hurts or not (most of the time it does), and when I say yes he says "Good, that means you're getting stronger". Sure enough, the next time I practice, I'm so much better than I was before. I've found that that statement is true in most cases in life. Instead of dwelling on the negative part of the situation, know that good things will come of it, and in the end you'll feel so much better. Yes, sometimes its impossible not to feel overwhelmed by your sadness or whatever you may be feeling, but it helps just a fraction to think it will make you stronger. Sure there's things that I would change, or redo, the whole coulda shoulda woulda deal, but after everything, I don't think I would change a thing. Everything, good or bad, had an incredible impact on me, and I think I like myself how I am. Even though I know I've only been on this Earth fourteen short years and I can't possibly know all that much about the world, but I'm so excited about the years to come and all the experiences that will continue to build me into a better person.

Wow, that was a long paragraph, but we all love long blogs right? I know I do.

So, I decided I'm incredibly afraid of the future. I know I'm afraid of a ton of things and Grant is worried for my kids because I'll be such an overprotective mother, but this is something that scares me worse than dead animals, or than skydiving, or rollercoasters... this is real. I could probably avoid seeing dead animals, or going on rollercoasters because I could pass up anything that would put me in that situation, but the future.... it comes whether you want it to or not. Its the one constant in life. Time never slows, it never waits, it just flows. It never ends. In a way I guess thats comforting, but when unappealing things lurk in your future, you know its invetible. The best you can do is brace yourself for the unexpected and embrace it with open arms. Its what I've decided to do.
For the past week I've been sulking about next year, the future, everything. And today I was thinking. Sulking and dreading what is going to come anyway gets you nowhere, it just seems to prolong the loneliness or unpleasant feeling that comes with being sad. I'm done with being unhappy. Theres too much to enjoy in life to let one or two or three things bring it down.

So today, in Mr Bass's class, he told a story. It kind of inspired me. He told us about how he and his parents used to fight a ton over everything, and he hated it. It reminded me of my relationship with my parents a bit. Then one day, someone told him at church that the way to have more privileges and stuff is to obey your parents. This had already occured to me, but I never actually psycologically acknowleged it. It was a brilliant concept, I'll say. If you earn trust, life is easier. Love your neighbor as you would love yourself. Its the same concept. If I am a kind person, people will be kind to me. If I give a reason to be trusted, trust will come, along with all the benefits. So thats how I made it my goal to help others out, and obey my parents. Arguing sucks, and it feels so much better to have a happy conversation than to yell all the time.

Well I gotta hit the hay. Its going to be a long day tomorrow... YAY for Ihop! Not to mention I have to read Alyse's blog about Joseph before she deletes it.
See ya, and party.