Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I've only been on this earth for 14 short years. I may not know everything about love, and I'm not writing this to pretend I do, but if there's one thing I do know, its that love is definitely not hate.
It sounds silly, I know. Of course love isn't hate, but think about it.
Your walk talks louder than your talk talks.
Its an age old saying(I think), but its true. Love doesn't dwell in words, but in actions. Sure, you can use words to express those feelings, but its not what you say, but how you show it.
Its easy to say "I'd take a bullet for you." But would you actually do it?
Its easy to say "I'd do anything and everything for you." But how much of anything are you really willing to give?
Its easy to say "I'll never hurt you." But if you don't love with your whole being, actions, words, everything, hurt will be inevitable.
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
They're just letters. 27 of them. 5 vowels. 22 consonants.
They're abstract. They mean nothing.
Love isn't jealousy. Love isn't mistrust. Love isn't selfish. Love is an antidote, not a poison. Love is caring, not neglect. Love is setting yourself free, not a prison.
Love isn't an intimate touch, or a style of clothing, or a hair color, or holding hands, or kissing in public places, or spending every second with one another.
Its so much more.
I heard a quote once, from a very special person. It went like this.
"No man/woman is worth your tears, and the only one who is, will never make you cry."
Whoever truly loves you with all their heart, would do everything in their power to prevent your tears. Of course, life has its ups and downs, and sadness is unavoidable at times. My point is: Whoever cares about you more than themselves, will put their selfish desires aside, and help you be the best you can be.
I could go on with this subject for hours, but I have homework calling my name.
I wrote this blog for a good friend. Now go read the title again.
Goodnight.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Its Exactly the Same... Except Different.
So I'm bored.
Ever since school I've been so busy with everything. Playing guitar, homework, being at church, hanging out with my friends. And now that I don't have to do anything, I don't know what to do! I'm always under some sort of stress, and don't get me wrong, it feels great to be rid of it, I'm just clueless as far as productive ideas go. What do normal people do in this situation? I know Alyse blogs. :P I just finished reading a few. So good!
Well its the end of the term... its gone by so fast... and I'm proud to say I have straight A's (I think..)
Pretty difficult. I've been incredibly spacey lately, and just lazy. School's lower on the priorety list nowadays, but not totally gone.
Next term I'll be more responsible and organized! Chyeah.
Volleyball ended too, which makes me sad. I used to look forward to practicing with my rad team on Thursdays. I don't think I've ever gotten along with my teammates as well as I did this year. Maybe it was a change in my attitude, or maybe we were all just crazy, therefore compatible.
The tournament was pretty awesome! Undefeated! :) Of course. Never lost a game. All. Season. Confidence booster! Hurrah!
On another note... it seems all my old friends are slowly slipping away from me. I haven't spoken to Hayleigh in months, since school started. She probably doesn't have time for me anyway. Oh wells. I hung out with Grant the other day... he's still awesome, but way different than he used to be. I miss my best friend. :( *sigh* There's really nothing I can do. I've already tried to keep contact with him, but he doesn't seem to want to.
Lets see... Xandra seems to be infatuated with Zakk. Enough said.
Hm. A lot of people are just going there separate ways now.
I kinda feel married. Like after High School, everyone goes in the direction they choose, and eventually get hitched. We're pretty much married to our schoolwork. Well most everyone. Me and Alyse are still 'married' to each other though. :P Oh! And Martin is still my best friend, which makes me happy! If not for him, I would be feeling bored more often.
Anyway... I'm just rambling now.
Have a good day folks.
Ever since school I've been so busy with everything. Playing guitar, homework, being at church, hanging out with my friends. And now that I don't have to do anything, I don't know what to do! I'm always under some sort of stress, and don't get me wrong, it feels great to be rid of it, I'm just clueless as far as productive ideas go. What do normal people do in this situation? I know Alyse blogs. :P I just finished reading a few. So good!
Well its the end of the term... its gone by so fast... and I'm proud to say I have straight A's (I think..)
Pretty difficult. I've been incredibly spacey lately, and just lazy. School's lower on the priorety list nowadays, but not totally gone.
Next term I'll be more responsible and organized! Chyeah.
Volleyball ended too, which makes me sad. I used to look forward to practicing with my rad team on Thursdays. I don't think I've ever gotten along with my teammates as well as I did this year. Maybe it was a change in my attitude, or maybe we were all just crazy, therefore compatible.
The tournament was pretty awesome! Undefeated! :) Of course. Never lost a game. All. Season. Confidence booster! Hurrah!
On another note... it seems all my old friends are slowly slipping away from me. I haven't spoken to Hayleigh in months, since school started. She probably doesn't have time for me anyway. Oh wells. I hung out with Grant the other day... he's still awesome, but way different than he used to be. I miss my best friend. :( *sigh* There's really nothing I can do. I've already tried to keep contact with him, but he doesn't seem to want to.
Lets see... Xandra seems to be infatuated with Zakk. Enough said.
Hm. A lot of people are just going there separate ways now.
I kinda feel married. Like after High School, everyone goes in the direction they choose, and eventually get hitched. We're pretty much married to our schoolwork. Well most everyone. Me and Alyse are still 'married' to each other though. :P Oh! And Martin is still my best friend, which makes me happy! If not for him, I would be feeling bored more often.
Anyway... I'm just rambling now.
Have a good day folks.
Monday, October 5, 2009
A Light in the Darkness
Oh Lord I was lost, but now I'm found. Thank you.
For so long, I've been living life. Going through the motions, worshipping God, making decisions that are pleasing to Him, dodging temptation. For so long, I thought I was on the right path. I'm not. I'm so far from it. I wandered astray, lost in the dark, but tonight I was found.
Sure I was living a good, religious life.
But for what?
Self fulfillment.
To prove myself to others.
To have a purpose.
To play guitar.
And a lot more stupid selfish reasons.
I was just speaking the words, just listening with my ears, when I should have been speaking and listening with my heart. I was doing all the right stuff, but for the wrong reasons. I wanted to build myself up, when I should have been focusing on raising God up. So crazy.
These past weeks have made me think alot, about God, religion, worship, etc. Mainly tonight, and two Sundays ago.
When I was playing for Surge two weeks ago, Shawn asked me to play the solo on From the Inside Out. At the time I was completely stoked, I had self confidence and I knew I could do it. I went home and practiced, listening to the song over and over until I got it down nearly perfect. It was my first solo ever, and if you know my guitar playing skill, I'm terrible with a pick. I just barely started using one about 6 or so months ago. When I got to church on Sunday, my fingers wouldn't obey me, and I was as nervous as ever. Plus, someone made some comments that just made something snap inside of me... and I felt incompetent, horrible, inept, like I was dragging everyone down. I was literally on the verge of tears as I begged Shawn to let me bail out and not play the solo.
There was a few minutes until church started, and I sat on the couches, avoiding everyone, when Emily came over to me and started asking me what was wrong.
She started out saying that I would do great, and I'm one of the best guitarists at the church, then moved a little deeper. She said, I shouldn't care about what others thought about me, all that didn't matter. What matters, is what God thinks about you, and what's in your heart. Not perfection in your fingers. We're all imperfect people. She also brought up something Shawn had told all of us a while back. We can't make the people worship, our music is simply the doorway that we create for others to find God. I started bawling. The realization hit me so strong that I couldn't handle it. I had been so lost, I forgot what worship really meant. It had been dulled into a mere word consisting of seven letters. Something meaningless. It hurt, and I couldn't stop crying. Emily gave me a hug, and so did Earl the sound guy. I don't think anyone knew the real reason I was crying... God did though.
So I went on stage, and through my tears I said a quick prayer, and did the solo almost perfectly. It was all for God.
Tonight was pretty intense also. I was planning on skipping the Deeper service at church and just chilling with Martin, but now that I went, I can't even imagine not going. It was simply amazing, and I've never experienced anything like it before. It started with a few songs that Ben played acoustically, and the crowd sang, falling into the pattern of singing meaningless lyrics, and I admit, I did the same.
But when we crowded around the table in the corner of the room, listening to Baylor, writing our sins on a cloth, putting them in the container of water, watching it turn red, something changed. A level of seriousness and understanding was taken on in the crowd. He added bleach once all the 'sins' were taken out, and everyone watched as all the horrible things we had done were washed away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a kid with his head in his hands, sobbing.
It was beautiful, in a morose sort of way.
Before my eyes, he was being forgiven... all the horrible things he had done, were being washed away by the most amazing being ever, Jesus. I was overwhelmed with an understanding.
Ben played a few more songs, this time, people were engaged in worship, with their hearts, souls, and minds. All around me people cried, head in hands, all for different reasons, but being united with God. The room was filled with a presence, and I began to cry. Eventually I hardly noticed the tears as they trickled down my face. Remembering all the horrible things I've done in my life, how imperfect and unworthy I was of this wonderful life. In a way, I was humbled.
I realized how lost I was, how trapped I was in my own sin... and that God is the only way any of us will find true peace, and happiness on this Earth and in all the heavens.
You and me, we've recieved the greatest gift of all. The gift of eternal life. If Jesus had never died on the cross that day, if he had caved into the devil's taunts just once, we would all be doomed to burn in Hell forever. The most unpleasant place. One of suffering and pain. Think about it, forever is a long time. It goes on and on and on... beyond human comprehension.
But we're not doomed to that, we're given the chance to live in happiness, love, peace, all those things us humans search blindly for within this lifetime. Always searching and trying to obtain them ourselves, when the only true way to get those things, is to surrender. And by surrendering yourself to Christ, you're set free from all those sins. All that guilt. All that blindness. Everything.
I shared this because I want to share the joy and comfort I feel from being at church and offering my life. Please think about this. Thank you for listening.
:)
For so long, I've been living life. Going through the motions, worshipping God, making decisions that are pleasing to Him, dodging temptation. For so long, I thought I was on the right path. I'm not. I'm so far from it. I wandered astray, lost in the dark, but tonight I was found.
Sure I was living a good, religious life.
But for what?
Self fulfillment.
To prove myself to others.
To have a purpose.
To play guitar.
And a lot more stupid selfish reasons.
I was just speaking the words, just listening with my ears, when I should have been speaking and listening with my heart. I was doing all the right stuff, but for the wrong reasons. I wanted to build myself up, when I should have been focusing on raising God up. So crazy.
These past weeks have made me think alot, about God, religion, worship, etc. Mainly tonight, and two Sundays ago.
When I was playing for Surge two weeks ago, Shawn asked me to play the solo on From the Inside Out. At the time I was completely stoked, I had self confidence and I knew I could do it. I went home and practiced, listening to the song over and over until I got it down nearly perfect. It was my first solo ever, and if you know my guitar playing skill, I'm terrible with a pick. I just barely started using one about 6 or so months ago. When I got to church on Sunday, my fingers wouldn't obey me, and I was as nervous as ever. Plus, someone made some comments that just made something snap inside of me... and I felt incompetent, horrible, inept, like I was dragging everyone down. I was literally on the verge of tears as I begged Shawn to let me bail out and not play the solo.
There was a few minutes until church started, and I sat on the couches, avoiding everyone, when Emily came over to me and started asking me what was wrong.
She started out saying that I would do great, and I'm one of the best guitarists at the church, then moved a little deeper. She said, I shouldn't care about what others thought about me, all that didn't matter. What matters, is what God thinks about you, and what's in your heart. Not perfection in your fingers. We're all imperfect people. She also brought up something Shawn had told all of us a while back. We can't make the people worship, our music is simply the doorway that we create for others to find God. I started bawling. The realization hit me so strong that I couldn't handle it. I had been so lost, I forgot what worship really meant. It had been dulled into a mere word consisting of seven letters. Something meaningless. It hurt, and I couldn't stop crying. Emily gave me a hug, and so did Earl the sound guy. I don't think anyone knew the real reason I was crying... God did though.
So I went on stage, and through my tears I said a quick prayer, and did the solo almost perfectly. It was all for God.
Tonight was pretty intense also. I was planning on skipping the Deeper service at church and just chilling with Martin, but now that I went, I can't even imagine not going. It was simply amazing, and I've never experienced anything like it before. It started with a few songs that Ben played acoustically, and the crowd sang, falling into the pattern of singing meaningless lyrics, and I admit, I did the same.
But when we crowded around the table in the corner of the room, listening to Baylor, writing our sins on a cloth, putting them in the container of water, watching it turn red, something changed. A level of seriousness and understanding was taken on in the crowd. He added bleach once all the 'sins' were taken out, and everyone watched as all the horrible things we had done were washed away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a kid with his head in his hands, sobbing.
It was beautiful, in a morose sort of way.
Before my eyes, he was being forgiven... all the horrible things he had done, were being washed away by the most amazing being ever, Jesus. I was overwhelmed with an understanding.
Ben played a few more songs, this time, people were engaged in worship, with their hearts, souls, and minds. All around me people cried, head in hands, all for different reasons, but being united with God. The room was filled with a presence, and I began to cry. Eventually I hardly noticed the tears as they trickled down my face. Remembering all the horrible things I've done in my life, how imperfect and unworthy I was of this wonderful life. In a way, I was humbled.
I realized how lost I was, how trapped I was in my own sin... and that God is the only way any of us will find true peace, and happiness on this Earth and in all the heavens.
You and me, we've recieved the greatest gift of all. The gift of eternal life. If Jesus had never died on the cross that day, if he had caved into the devil's taunts just once, we would all be doomed to burn in Hell forever. The most unpleasant place. One of suffering and pain. Think about it, forever is a long time. It goes on and on and on... beyond human comprehension.
But we're not doomed to that, we're given the chance to live in happiness, love, peace, all those things us humans search blindly for within this lifetime. Always searching and trying to obtain them ourselves, when the only true way to get those things, is to surrender. And by surrendering yourself to Christ, you're set free from all those sins. All that guilt. All that blindness. Everything.
I shared this because I want to share the joy and comfort I feel from being at church and offering my life. Please think about this. Thank you for listening.
:)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Time.
I once read a quote on a mirror. It was written in black expo marker.
Years teach us things that days cannot see.
Now like all quotes, it has a few different interpretations of the meaning... I'm pretty sure the original author intended it to be inspiring, but unfortunately, my view of life right now thinks otherwise.
Think back. Way back. Back when everything in your life was perfect. Back to a time when you wished everything would stay exactly the same forever. When nothing seemed frightening. When you lived in the moment every day, without a care in the world.
There comes a time in life when change has to occur. Time is always moving forward, pushing you along, whether you're ready or not. This is the fourth dimension folks.
People change. Drifting apart. Altering who they are. Making friends. Losing friends.
Nothing remains constant forever. Except time. And thats always changing.
Lately it seems like time finally caught up with everyone. Like all of the sudden we were all hit with a realization. Or maybe its just me.
All my friends, people I've known forever are drifting apart. They're all busying themselves with their own lives, and the people in it.
Its sad when you take a step back from it all and evaluate the problems in your life. Its odd how when you look at a long period of time, you can see all the small fractures where the problems began. Where exactly everything began to change.
Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time. I wish I could fix those cracks before the earth split.
Years teach us things that days cannot see.
Now like all quotes, it has a few different interpretations of the meaning... I'm pretty sure the original author intended it to be inspiring, but unfortunately, my view of life right now thinks otherwise.
Think back. Way back. Back when everything in your life was perfect. Back to a time when you wished everything would stay exactly the same forever. When nothing seemed frightening. When you lived in the moment every day, without a care in the world.
There comes a time in life when change has to occur. Time is always moving forward, pushing you along, whether you're ready or not. This is the fourth dimension folks.
People change. Drifting apart. Altering who they are. Making friends. Losing friends.
Nothing remains constant forever. Except time. And thats always changing.
Lately it seems like time finally caught up with everyone. Like all of the sudden we were all hit with a realization. Or maybe its just me.
All my friends, people I've known forever are drifting apart. They're all busying themselves with their own lives, and the people in it.
Its sad when you take a step back from it all and evaluate the problems in your life. Its odd how when you look at a long period of time, you can see all the small fractures where the problems began. Where exactly everything began to change.
Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time. I wish I could fix those cracks before the earth split.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Some quotes.
"Loving each other is the other half of wisdom." - Imam Ali
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will finally know peace." - Jimi Hendrix.
Loser.
"Real success isn't about winning every time, its about losing, and having the strength to get back on your feet and try again."
"A real loser is someone whos so afraid of not winning, they don't even try." - Little Miss Sunshine.
"A real loser is someone whos so afraid of not winning, they don't even try." - Little Miss Sunshine.
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