Some quotes.

"Loving each other is the other half of wisdom." - Imam Ali

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will finally know peace." - Jimi Hendrix.

Loser.

"Real success isn't about winning every time, its about losing, and having the strength to get back on your feet and try again."

"A real loser is someone whos so afraid of not winning, they don't even try." - Little Miss Sunshine.

How Unimpressive.

So I've been thinking a lot recently about nearly everything. Its been such a long time since I've felt so inspired about thinking on such a deep scale. Its like taking a breath of fresh air. So good.
Anyway, something came to my attention earlier this morning concerning facebook. A particular person's status update... Now I won't mention any names but the girl's status said this "Dang. Got arrested again." and underneath it, she clarified that it was due to fighting again. Again.
I find it so weird/horrible to be only 13, almost 14 and already have a criminal record. I was talking to Xandra about it and eventually I started thinking about the way the girl had acted. She was a pretty awesome person and I'd hung out with her a few times during class, but every day she would come to school with another story about an obscene thing she did the night before. For instance:
"I got my phone taken away because I snuck this guy into my room at 3am and got caught making out."
or...
"At my old school I got suspended so many times for fighting with people."
She would say it with a smirk too, almost with an air of pride. Like all of her bad deeds were part of some twisted trophy collection that she put on display for the world to see. Bragging almost.
Why? Why do humans take pride in doing wrong?
In reality, its not that impressive. Its easy to do all that bad crap, to give into temptation and embrace the shallow nature of humanity. But now, doing something good for the world takes so much more effort. To always crave the selfish worldly desires, that taunt you every minutes of the day, and turn away... that takes skill, my friend.
If you absolutely have to brag, show the world how you can serve it, not the other way around. Its much more impressive.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi.

Goodnight.

So I was thinking about this in the shower the other day...

"How is it that one man whith almost nothing to offer can speak with the fire of 1000 nations? Armed with only a kind word and a smile upon his lips? Love can conquer any battle, defeat any army, overcome death. Use it wisely, my friend."

Written on 8.11.9 (to stay true to my daily blogging goal.)

The Naturaly Unsatisfiable Human.

I wrote this last night, in my little blue 10 cent notebook. enjoy.

Hey! Heres just a short prelude into my next blog because I've attempted several times to start abruptly, and to be honest, its not working out for me.
I decided that since I made such lame halfhearted New Year's resolutions, I'll make one now. Who says you can only better yourself at the beginning of the year?
I think I'll make a list, starting with one goal and add to it slowly day by day until they all become habitual. It might be hard, but I guess I enjoy a good challenge.
So here it is:
1.)Write one blog every day.
I may, or may not post them all, but I think its a smart idea since I find writing a personal journal somewhat awkward. They don't have to be long, I'll just use them as landmarks to document important events in my life. Time sure flies by quickly.

Anyway...
So I got a perm today. Pretty freaky, I must say, but I'm hoping it will calm down a bit once I wash it. I look like the unprepared replacement zombie straight out of some cheap 80's horror film.
In a way, I think we all as humans, have some sort of subconscious desire to make ourselves unhappy... The whole 'Grass is greener on the other side' deal, which I know I've blogged about before.
Before, I've always looked at curly haired people and wanted my hair to be just like theirs, all straight hair pretty bland in comparison. But now that I have what I want, I look at straight hair, like mine used to be, and wonder how I could have ever wanted otherwise.
Maybe we're all pre-programmed in life to always be unsatisfied with what we have, always desiring a little bit more.
Or maybe we just don't see the beauty in what we do have because we're so focused on the things just out of our reach. Once we've lost something, we notice the empty hole that it used to occupy. I think that's when we notice true beauty.
Our eyes are blind when they're on the prize. Why care about the prize when you're surrounded with the wonderful things you already have. (Now when I say prize, I mean all the selfish material wants and desires of us humans. There's times when its best to be focused and determined. The term in subjective really)
Anyway. I guess what I'm trying to say is, Look around at what you have. There's someone in the world who would treasure the things we scarcely hold recognition for. For instance: A family, your hair, the oppurtunity to go to school and get an education. Enjoy life, live with love, and keep the priceless things close to your heart. Never forget their true value.

Goodnight everyone.

The Justification of Disobedience... Or Not.

Can a wrongdoing be justified?

I was once asked this question by a very wise man who taught me many things about life... and this question was accompanied by a story. He didn't tell many stories, but he told this one.

There was once a man worked very hard. He had a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, and a good job. One day, in the middle of the winter, when the snow fell from the sky and iced over the roads, his daughter fell very ill. Her fever shot up to the hundreds, and the man knew that if she didn't get care immediately, she was likely to lose her life. The power had long since gone out, and he couldn't call an ambulance, so he jumped in his car with his child, and drove as fast as he could to the nearest hospital. He swerved dangerously down the city streets, and ran stop signs. Luckily, he managed to avoid everyone in his path, and got to the hospital just before it was too late. They gave the daughter immediate care and she lived. But the man had broken so many laws that he was taken to jail, to serve a three year sentence.

The man. He raced to save a life. He broke the law, and accepted the punishment. Its all cause and effect.

Sure, he could have killed someone, driving so fast down the icy roads, but he didn't. He stood up for what he believed in; his daughters life. I guess it was only expected of him to serve his time in jail.

But was it fair?
Is doing something that you know is wrong to stand up for what you believe in worth it? Can you really justify your bad behavior by saying, you knew what you were doing would make a difference for the better in the end?

I thought I knew the answer at one point. But I guess I don't.

Laws are laws for a reason. They were made to be followed, not broken. They keep people safe.

My heart speaks probably louder than any other organ in my body. I find it hard to ignore, even when my mind is telling me no. I make stupid decisions, but I make them for a reason. I make a point not to break rules unless I have a really good justification for that act.

But is it worth it?

The man in the story sacrificed his freedom, his job, his life, in order to give life to another.

So, is it worth it to lose everything you worked so hard for, in order to follow your heart and do what is right?

You tell me.

Of Cattle and Disappointing Dreams.

Its an odd feeling.
When you realize, the grass probably is always going to be greener on the other side. Its like you're a cow or something. Grazing, dreaming of greener fields, when the one you are currently nibbling away at seems dry and sparse. When all of the sudden a runaway tractor swerves through your field, and takes a wrong turn, crashing into the fence that separates you between the cage you've been living in for so long, and paradice. The green glistening field, so delicious and plentiful. All you can do is drool while you meander to the other side. You eat, you play, your heart is filled with joy, so much so that you don't even notice the fence being reconstructed.
Then one day, it hits you. You glance to the other side, and the grass is greener than ever before, and you wonder what kind of lawn care product your previous farmer used. Its then you realize, it was always that green. Always lush and perfect. You were just too blind to see it. That looming emptiness in your heart finally reawakened to what it forgot for that brief period of time. So you climb over the fence, missing what you had, but remembering the beauty of everything on THIS side.
It happens to all of us at some point, maybe someday we'll hop enough fences to actually find what we want.

Wow, anyhow, all these thoughts are bouncing around my head, so excuse my random overdramatic bovine narrative. Haha.

But really.
Its an odd feeling. Like my life is just another page in some parable, or inspirational work of modern literature, just like those paperbacks you can buy in Costco for real cheap.
A few weeks ago, I obtained everything I ever could have wanted from life. Everything I dream about when I'm drifting to sleep at night. Everything I crave when I ponder life.
But when I finally got everything, I wasn't happy.
It was unfamiliar, uncomfortable, frightening. I suddenly yearned to step back in time, undo all this, have my former life back.
Thats when I realized, I had everything I wanted all along, I just never looked deep enough to see it.

As humans, I think we have some bizzare obstinate longing for the impossible. There's something about trying to reach the unreachable that's intriguing.

Or maybe its our constant search for happiness. Here we are, millions of lost folk (thank's alot thesaurus.com) perpetually trying to unearth the secret to happiness. Trying to distract ourselves with things of high monetary value, or material luxuries. We try changing our schedules, differing our common lives. Try and fail. Try and fail. Every time.

I could go on forever on this topic, but I'm getting sleepy and confused... alright, bye, for now. Have happy dreams, and try to find the beauty in what you have, you'll miss it one day.