Brilliance, at its best.

Alyse said my brilliance needed to be heard, so here it is, in the seemingly insignificant form of an internet blog. It kinda started when I finished reading the Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. That man is a genius, no joke. A lot of geniuses are underestimated these days, not really given credit for the incredibly wise things they say. Society seems to think that geniuses and heros have to do something memorable and remarkable, change the world, you know? but really, touching a single person's life is remarkable enough. Its kind of a chain reaction.
Anyways, I'm rambling. Lets get to the point.
Alyse and I were talking on Messenger earlier today, and we just started venting feelings, talking about problems, observations etc. The norm. The difference today was that I was in a very profound mood, and all the random thoughts that float about inside my head started to surface. Usually, I think about life, I observe, then I expand on them, its really rare that all these gathering thoughts actually get written down. I keep track of them in my head nonetheless.
One more thing before I post the conversation. True friends are great people to surround yourself with. Find people you can tell every detail of your life to and not be embarassed, people who understand you, etc. And I assure you, you will be beautifully rewarded.
Also, forgive the horrible formatting issue at the end... my brain kind of failed after being emptied of all that knowledge... forgive the horrible in text citations. Mrs. Hatch is to blame for that.





*A l l e r i a* says:
heyy
Cosette. says:
hey! you be back
*A l l e r i a* says:
yep!
Cosette. says:
yay!
Cosette. says:
What are you doing?
*A l l e r i a* says:
blasting music. thinking way too hard.
Cosette. says:
about what?
*A l l e r i a* says:
My life.
*A l l e r i a* says:
i miss hanging out with you, xandra, grant. I hardly hang out with people at all.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Im always home
*A l l e r i a* says:
but once or twice a week when I get to see nessa and jorden.
*A l l e r i a* says:
I miss people.
Cosette. says:
yeah... and then you think, "what am I doing? I only live once, surely these won't be the memorable days that I'll think of some day far off in the future. I need to get out and live my life. Make memories."
Cosette. says:
I've thought about this too.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Yeah. Exactly that.
Cosette. says:
I also miss hanging out with you.
Cosette. says:
I always think that I should make my life memorable somehow, and in the words of paramore 'live like its the last day you'll ever see' but... its hard. Life changing experiences don't come around too often
*A l l e r i a* says:
they come unexpectedly.
*A l l e r i a* says:
but you have to be doing something to bring them about. sitting in our rooms all the time wont bring anything.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Im being boring. Im afraid. Im afraid I will become too boring for Jorden. I should give myself a life.
Cosette. says:
You probably will never be too boring for Jorden. I'm sure just being with you is exciting enough for him. He feels as much about you as you do about him.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Yesterday when I was with him, we went to the park by the AF library and sat on the bench there. I couldnt say anything, I had nothing to talk about, I had no conversation starters or ideas of things to talk about. He brought up some stuff, but I want to do things and live so I can have stuff to talk about, not just sit there.
Cosette. says:
Like Grant
*A l l e r i a* says:
I've come to realize just how much he does care.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Its an odd thing.
Cosette. says:
about you?
*A l l e r i a* says:
Yeah.
Cosette. says:
well yes. thats what love is right?
*A l l e r i a* says:
And we need to hang with grant. I miss him terribly.
Cosette. says:
me too, I was thinking about that and I was about to text him when I remembered his phone broke.
Cosette. says:
oh well... I can always walk down the street when I'm not deathly ill.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Its sad though...me and jorden, our relationship is changing. not a bad thing, its just another thing. But still. We used to be joined at the hip while hanging out, he would always hug me and hold me and even do things absentmindedly, but as of recently he just hasn't. Like, he responds when I put my arms around him, but its different. Its not like he loves me any less, he is just going to stop
*A l l e r i a* says:
showing me so much, which is alright, i have no problem with this, i will just miss the constant attention. I decided I normally dont seek attention, but with him, I do want it.
Cosette. says:
Hmm... yeah. I understand... I'm not exactly sure why this happens. It seems like people get kinda burned out after awhile, like they still love each other, it just fades a little. Like marriage.
Cosette. says:
Its nice.
Cosette. says:
to feel loved i mean
Cosette. says:
I just finished reading the notebook and I'm all deep and contemplative about life haha. But, I decided that I want to marry a guy like Noah, one that will love me, and constantly remind himself of how much he really does, because I know I'll do the same. That way, I think loving someone forever can actually work. Maybe.
*A l l e r i a* says:
I want to marry a guy who will love me, and show it every once in a while, and never forget that he does. And I'll do the same. Maybe then it could last forever. Maybe.


Cosette. says:
Ah... I want a noah.
*A l l e r i a* says:
I'm not sure what I have. Besides someone who I want with me in my future, but I am willing to step back and let him make his own if needs be. Cause I know a lot of things can happen. And even though my stomach knots up and my eyes burn when I think about not being with him, reality is, anything can happen. Certainly anything on a negative scale as well.
Cosette. says:
Yeah. Even if it is horrible, everything happens for a reason, and I know a wonderful person like you will end up happy. Just make wise decisions.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Funny thing is, we can only make what we think now are wise decisions. its in the future, however near or far, when we find out just how wise those decisions really were.
Cosette. says:
Very true.
Cosette. says:
We can only guess at the future, and make decisions, depending on what we think is wise. Theres really no way to know for sure, so do the best you can in the moment.
*A l l e r i a* says:
That's what I've resolved, and been doing. Living in the moment, trying to be smart for the future by using knowledge from past decisions and experiences, things I've seen all taking their part in this.
Cosette. says:
Yeah. Its wierd. When people give advice they say stuff like (quote Carli's brother's band) "Don't look at the future, don't look at the past, look at now and make it last." Or something along those lines, but truth is, we have to remember the past, keep the future in mind, and live in the now. Its all mind boggling if you think about it.
*A l l e r i a* says:
without a doubt, definitely a boggling of the mind is in order.
*A l l e r i a* says:
But its true.
Cosette. says:
Yeah. Theres all these lessons to be learned in life, too many to keep in mind all at once, but we can only remember them, and apply the ones that pertain to our situations.
Cosette. says:
Hmm.
*A l l e r i a* says:
I like that analogy. It's very true.
Cosette. says:
what analogy?
*A l l e r i a* says:
What you just said. That theres all these lessons to be learned in life, too many to keep in mind all at once, but we can only remember them, and apply the ones that pertain to our situations.
Cosette. says:
yeah... that.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Yeeh.
*A l l e r i a* says:
*sigh*
Cosette. says:
yeah...
Cosette. says:
wow. That was a deep conversation.
Cosette. says:
Haha I'm occasionally shocked by my brilliance.
*A l l e r i a* says:
Lol. We are truely brilliant people I decided.
*A l l e r i a* says:
We know our stuff.
*A l l e r i a* says:
and we know we have so so much more to learn.
Cosette. says:
yeah. The world is filled with endless knowledge.
Cosette. says:
How exciting.

*A l l e r i a*
how...limitless.
Cosette:
haha let us take this moment to marvel at the sheer power of knowledge

Alyse:
wow...its kinda scary too. i decided im scared of a lot of things. I could brave life, im emotionally ready to be able to move out and everything if I was of age and money, but im afraid of what life is going to throw at me.

Cosette:
Yeah. Me too
I think its pretty weird how alot of people think of fear as weakness, and its the same with sadness, if you're afraid or sad, you're not living life right... at least thats what I've found some people think. But in reality, its impossible not to be afraid. Its impossible not to be sad. Truth is, we're all human. and only the people who truly know how to live life, will take those things and use them to their advantage

Alyse:
Im quoting you in my blog

Cosette:
haha thanks

Alyse:
Cosette. what you just said, thats going in there
that is so profound

Cosette:
yeah... I think... a lot

Alyse:
Cosette. Yeah, wow

Cosette:
... I think of these random things, I evaluate people and life, and then I expand on them, its not really often that I tell them to people.
Alyse:
Cosette. you should write them in a blog. the world will hear.



... and I cut out a little, because it made me look mentally challenged, but other than that theres the conversation.

Night everyone. Be inspired.